Friday, May 10, 2013

Buddyboo and his first poop


This first post reflects on the last five weeks that little Buddyboo has entered and rocked our worlds.

I'm a first time mum deciding to record the ups and downs of discovering life with a first time baby aka Buddyboo, the most beautifulest, wonderfulest baby in the world. Don't call me biased because I'm fairly sure what I just said is evidence-based and  scientifically accurate. Just ask my sidekick first time dad.

It seems parenting comes with a lot of lovely moments and a lot of poop.  Thought this blog would be a good way of not letting the little lovely and poopy things fly away into forgotten. When you stay at home as a mum and every day and night blends into the next in a sea of nappy changes and late night sessions... all the little things are like precious golden nuggets of memories. I've missed so many little memories in just five weeks. This post is probably going to be longer than usual. So as a whole so far, here they are.....

Buddyboo is officially the best baby in the history of the entire universe. His face is like magic my heart combusts into a milky way of warm and fuzzies when I look at him. His breath is so heavenly I sit there just smelling him like a crazy person. It's amazing how one can wordlessly and unconditionally love a tiny little being whom you've just met. 

At one week old... he's so much bigger than this already

*Buddyboo today attaining the ripe old age of 5 weeks old. Best accomplishment in life so far (apart from being awesome despite the absence of the power of speech or controlled mobility) - the Lucas Heights sized dump he did yesterday while we were out... and sleeping on his own for four solid hours. Other notable accomplishments, smiling, some neck control during tummy time, and managing to no longer green mushroom cloud explode poop into his baths as he did the first time. I'm almost tempted to say he quite likes a warm bath these days.

*First time dad aka Big Lovely, on board and goes for "Most Valuable Player" award everyday. Wins "Most Enthusiastic" most days. Does lovely things like make sandwiches for me before leaving the house each morning so I can just shovel into my mouth and not get in the way of caring for Buddyboo. Today, I saw his gentle reminder to please eat something healthy by strategically placing yoghurt and a pear suggestively in the most accessible part of the fridge. It was obstructing my stash of TimTams. Also, check out his gourmet dinner plans laid out and managed on our fridge door. A feat given his full schedule. What a star.

*Feeling needed. Eventhough a newborn's clinginess to his mother can mean I don't pee all day, or that I've rushed through each shower I've ever had in the last 5 weeks, or that I often have to choose between eating or sleeping but not both... it is nice to know that this person needs you so much, has to have you cuddle him so much and I often wonder and hope, loves you so much too. He is utterly and hopelessly dependent on us.. one day when he rebelliously moves out of home against our advice and lives his own life and marries some whore who will never be good enough for him, I am going to look back at these moments with warm fondness. I'm joking about the whore bit by the way, I'm sure he/she will be lovely if Buddyboo loves them.

*Confoundment and the endless guessing game. "Why is he crying?" beeping permanently through my head like I'm a sonar radar in mission control.

*Helplessness when you can't get the right answer to question above after trying everything on the list they gave you at parenting class. At the end you have a well-fed, clean nappied, recently poopied, burped, appropriately dressed baby who is still upset at the world.

*Sleeplessness and the guilt that comes with sleepy parenting. A newborn brings with it lots of joy and love. However, it doth taketh away any humanly possible chance of sleep.

A clinical sign of sleeplessness

Should put this in Hushamok's comments
box as a suggested modification
Such fatigue does produce some pretty Macgyver thinking. For example, I made some simple but important modifications to Buddyboo's Hushamok sleep hammock where he sleeps at night. I attached a rope that extends to my bed from where I can just tug to create a swing if I hear the tiniest grimace.

The other secret game sleepy parents often play is with our conscience called "Should I change him now or wait for the next poop to pile on top". After running the play off between logic like "It's better for the environment if one nappy catches two poops" against "noone wants to sleep in their own shit"... eventually this sleepy parent gets up and guiltily changes the nappy.

*Breastfeeding wars and the holy grail for the perfect latch. Buddyboo appears to have a short tongue and causes an uncomfortable scraping of the nipple with each suck leaving me sorely raw each time. He also seems determined to drink from my boob as though it were a straw that he must chomp and purse his lips on. It's like a dull piece of glass teasing your nipple endlessly. I hear they still use this nipple boarding technique in Guantanamo.

*Knowing my milk jugs are abundantly full and plentiful, yet the lil guy won't or can't get it out because of his fish lips drinking habits. I end up sitting there for two hours trying to siphon a whole lot of milk through the tiniest opening that is his pathetic latch. Before you know it, it's time for the next feed. It's like Groundhog Day - the Breastfeeding Sequel, only the loop is 2-3 hourly feeds eight to ten times a day.

*The PUPPS, ie the itchiest rash known to man. Or given that it's a pregnancy related rash... it's not  likely to be known to man. I've had it since I was 36 weeks pregnant. It's supposed to go away after delivery but in my case, it supernova'd into a universe of angry red papules all over my body (except my face, my angry face fire must have scared it away). Weeks and weeks of angry constant itching has been poopy indeed. Alas, the onset of colder weather seems to be scaring it away... and I hope I do not speak to soon when I say that after weeks of oatmeal baths, stinky pine tar soap and raw tearful itching.. it might finally be waning.

There are a few other things that fall by the wayside. Like how right now I literally have poop and breastmilk on my shirt. The actual poop and disgusting secretions, I don't really care so much.

Cliche train alert. It's all worth it. I've never been happier. He is the greatest thing I've ever done. I feel complete. Goddam I can't help but admit it, despite all the poop the cliches are all true. I love my new family :)


  1. pics or it didnt happen
    especially the underwater green mushroom cloud

  2. It happened and in fact happened again two days ago!